Gorgeous dress @HALLIEBETH87 !

We made it to Florida with just a couple of hiccups. Our mobile boarding passes wouldn’t come up so we had to get the counter to print them at the last minute. Then the vacation rental person forgot we were coming and never sent the code to get into the house. He didn’t answer at first when we called but he called back and after a moment of confusion he gave us the code and we got in. It’s a nice house but in a bit of a sketchy area so if we come again we won’t be staying here. Then the rental car kept getting stuck in between gears (wouldn’t let RS shift) so we had to drive 45 minutes back to the airport to exchange it. But everything is good now!

Yesterday we went to a nature preserve and took a (long!) walk through the trails. We saw a lot of wildlife, including a lot of big gators! There were two raccoons walking right along the trail and then a big turtle trying to make his way across. We think the big soft shell turtle we saw was trying to dig a nest to lay eggs. It was awesome. The only unfortunate part is it was a last minute decision we made after we got to his cousin’s house so we didn’t prepare with sunscreen or extra water. CR got burned a bit, as did I. That’s what we get for being pale. But it was mostly gone by this morning so it wasn’t too bad. Today we’re going to a barbecue at his cousin’s house. Tomorrow maybe the beach?

I think I’ve figured out the source of my anxiety. I believe it is PTSD related. My anxious thoughts are all the same, that someone close to me (especially RS) is going to die. I’m getting flash visions of people just dropping dead in front of me and when I’m not physically with RS I’m worried that he’s gotten into an accident or even more absurd and unlikely things like the store he’s at has been held up and he’s been shot. I can’t even tell myself that that likely hasn’t happened because my first husband did die out of nowhere. And when did he die? At the end of May eight years ago. We’re coming up on the anniversary. So I think my subconscious is thinking about the trauma surrounding that death and extrapolating into the present. That’s something I’m just going to have to work on with my therapist. Still wish I could get Xanax though.