I think you guys will be so proud of me! I told my mom (ok, so called me first) all about the foot situation that has been going on. Like everybody else, you see the losing of my job as an opportunity for growth. Eff that! We all know how terrified I am at change, and unknowns, and anticipatory anxiety…etc

At least she now knows. I got a little more information on my mom’s childhood. She said her home life “wasn’t good,” and the only person she could talk to was her brother. He’s a year older, and left the house when she was 18. She said she has no one to talk to. Then I pointed out-“And you were pregnant! (with me)”

She said she begged to stay home during her pregnancy, but like many very religious types born in the mid 30’s, the right answer is to move in with my dad and get married. So that’s what they did. She said neither one of them wanted to get married, but their parents won that argument. She said that they hardly knew each other, they had only been dating for a few months; which I kind of knew already. Then she casually goes “Yeah, I think he liked someone else more than me.” (insert jaw drop emoji)

Lovely! My mom did emphasize that she always wanted me and my brother. That was never a problem. She also said that she held a lot of resentment towards her parents for a long time, but has let that go. This is the most information I’ve ever got from her and how she grew up.

Of course, I have no clue what “not good” means in terms of how she remembers her childhood. She then told me that she wishes she could have done things differently, in parenting me and my brother. But after that, she goes “But you guys grew up knowing you were loved (i did?!), and it could have been worse-they could have been out on the streets, doing drugs or drinking alcohol.

Hmmm. Don’t know what to think right now. Earlier in the conversation, we were talking about how even siblings grow up so different in the same environment. She says she never has any clue what is going on in her sister’s head, while her brother will post on FB if he’s constipated (lol). When she was talking about my aunt and saying how she (my mom) never knows what is going on in her life, she said something to the effect of “And that is also true with you as well.”

I wish I could remember exactly what she said there.

Whew, that was a lot! If I didn’t write it down, I would have forgot most of the details. This is good conversation starter for therapy.