WOW... I am having SUCH a difficult time w/ ALL of this that is going on....

between being jobless & lack of stability in my life, to going through a divorce and dating again....

I was reaching out to my ex abuser for support?????? WTF????? What is wrong with me????????

We've both been through SO much individually and together, that it's been SO hard not to at times when I am really down and out...

I have to remember someone's advice on here... something about taping my hands together whenever I am tempted to reach out to him. It's not fair, and I have to remember this. I have been selfish & drowning in my problems, looking for a life raft. Anything, anyone to help me through this, but it cannot be HIM.

I have got to be stronger than that, and I have got to get myself out of this hole I am in. I am upset with myself.