Thread: For My Dog
View Single Post
 
Old Apr 10, 2023, 08:40 AM
ArmorPlate108's Avatar
ArmorPlate108 ArmorPlate108 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2022
Location: In the west
Posts: 479
Out of curiosity, where would you find satisfaction with this situation? What would that scenario look like? Where does it end?

From what you've posted, it sounds like he's already apprehensive when he sees you, so it's unlikely you'll get any sort of outward reaction that settles your feelings. Be cautious that in trying to put someone who you feel is a bully in their place, that you don't inadvertantly become a bully yourself. Going out of your way to go by his house, stopping behind his car, watching him turn tail and run- those are all things that could be construed as aggression, no matter how mild it may seem to you. He doesn't know what your thinking, just like you can't know what he's thinking. Neither of you can really know where the other is coming from.

You took responsibility for not having your dog on a leash, even though it sounds like you had good control over her, so it sounds like it's not so much the legal ruling as how you perceived he reacted. Consider that he might be insecure and scared, and maybe couldn't afford the vet bills. We all have an ego that wants to prevail. Sure, he may have been smirking, but who knows what was really behind that, what he was really thinking? Only he knows that, so you responding to that is giving away your power. When you engage him on it, he no longer has to own all of it.

I had an experience about ten years ago that changed how I approached people and situations like this. I can post more about it if you like. A woman road raged on me- her bad, she even tried to cause an accident- and I completely disengaged from it. The results were profound for me. Up until that time I generally would have honked, maybe yelled or gestured, but I didn't. I learned the power of turning the other cheek. It's not about being passive, it's about maintaining your integrity and calm, and allowing the other person to own all their bad behavior in the process.

Unfortunately, one of the main reasons I'm on this forum is because I haven't yet fully managed to spot and disengage from baiting and covert aggressions of those close to me. Work in progress. Trying to be better instead of bitter. It's not always a fast and easy process.

Hope you are feeling peaceful today.
Hugs from:
Discombobulated, Open Eyes, Revenge Tour
Thanks for this!
Samicat