Today I got another "blast from the past." Not on FB. It was a regular phone call. This was a co-worker I got friendly with in 2002. We worked closely for a year. We had lunch together a few times. Then she moved to another state, and we list contact.
Three years ago, she called me. She's a lot older and sounded like she had gotten a bit senile. It sounded to me like she might be a candidate for a care facility, as she also detailed serious medical issues. Now, 3 years later, I get a call from her. It sounds like she is back in my area and is couch surfing around. She asked if my landlord had any vacant apartments. She asked if I knew anyone looking for a roommate . . . and how many bedrooms did I have? Slow though I may be, I could see where this conversation was headed. So I wished her well and concluded the chat. I think she's basically homeless. She promised to call me again soon.

When I worked with her, it was on a healthcare assignment, and I thought she was one of the kindest, most caring persons I'ld ever met. That's why I welcomed her friendship. I'ld still gladly do anything to help her. I think she needs a social worker to help her find placement in the community, either in a facility or in a senior complex apartment. But I also know she can be extremely stubborn. I would gladly assist her to get the social services support she needs, which I happen to know a good deal about. However, I fear she would just want to glom on to me in a very clingy fashion and not accept the appropriate arrangements that could be made for her.

As I've been writing this, it has helped me see more clearly how this could morph into a stressful entanglement for me.

I've added this post to this thread because I see a pattern here. Needy people connect with me and find me sympathetic. Then they don't want to let go. Not that I'm wanting to reject them, but I don't want to to be clung to in a way that becomes just too much.

I recall now that I had a past thread somewhat in this vein. I have to develop more skill in handling individuals who get drawn to me, but simply want too much. I feel like it's my fault that I acted too open and too sympathetic in the beginning, and I misled them into hoping that I could be their "rock." Another possibility is that I just strike people as being some kind of a sucker. I hate to look at it that way, but I don't think these types of persons are totally innocent victims of life. They have boatloads of problems that they've created for themselves. I have to stiffen my spine. Today this lady kept me on the phone for way too long because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. That's me letting myself be controlled inappropriately. I have to up my skills in these scenarios.