My Support Forums - View Single Post - Being someone who is supposed to wait for others to initiate contact

nonightowl · Apr 11, 2023 at 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gavreel

If the approach is too intense, this might spark someone to pull away or get freaked out. Someone approached me the other day for example and told me their whole life story and personal problems ( as I am someone who is occasionally suffering myself) I felt drained and pulled away from the conversation.

I have been there myself and it is absolutely soul wrenching. Life is far too short, it really is, it is a waste of time, energy. Have you ever heard of the saying ''what is meant for you won't miss you'' Friendships and relationships will come automatically when you are living life.

LOVE the running cheetah avatar! Fastest animal on land.

The person who really vented on you was probably hoping to make a connection. That's how most people (I think) attempt to connect, by sharing something personal. It's a real risk to make oneself vulnerable like that.

I don't believe in the "meant to be" mindset, which applies our destiny is already mapped out. Yet we are told we are in control of our lives and nothing ventured, nothing gained. If some people are "meant" to have all these friends and others are not, what's up with that?? Why not them?

What I've heard repeatedly is "Things happen for a reason." It's really the cruelest thing to say to anyone in crisis. It's repeated so much it's accepted as FACT. It's destiny. It's a "good thing" that it sucks now.

I guess it's a balancing act. It also takes a lot of time and energy to invest in a potential friendship only to have NO reciprocity or the person/people turn out to be superficial or substandard. Honestly I'm out of gas now (to use the tank of gas in a car analogy). I don't even have any fumes left. I've tried and tried, SO HARD and you don't know the half of it. I have other stuff that I have to use my energy on and can't do both. Just don't have the bandwidth, to use a WiFi analogy.