Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosi700
I had a bad day yesterday because I felt put down because of my mother who alvays has to be the admired one. She puts med down with words and gestures, and nobody sent me a "we understand how you feel" body language. My mother is kind, but her way of being the admired one is not good to live with. It has been so all my life. I often feel confused and full of guilt afterward. Yesterday I had made a Boeuf Bourguignon in spite of headache and my hurting shoulder. My guests said it tasted good, but so it was my mother who made it once again, made me feel guilt.
May be I should be more overbearing. After all she is very old, now. I don't know ... I am the one left with the guilt feeling ... 
(I have been at the dentist today. Still have pain in my head. Have found an app where I can keep track of my pain and take that to my GP after I return from Spain). |
I still have bad conscience because of what I wrote about my mother yesterday. It is true that she is very kind, and she is especially clever with small children. I have probably learned a good deal about trust from her.
With that said, she has other traits as well. It is those sides that feels burdensome for me. I have told myself that I have the same right as others to feel troubled when she shows these other sites. No person is perfect ...
(By the way there were more than enough traumas in my childhood. My childhood was not stress free even if I had, at that time, a kind mother).
For the time being I feel so down because of the headache that will not loose it's grip on me. When we are down and sick we are a lot more troubled by our environment then usual and that is OK. In less than I week I will leave for my vacation and here I sit exhausted and full of pain in my head ...