Good Morning, Samicat,

Thank you for your feedback.

A few things I'd like to address:

Please don't confuse my going to church with being (a) Christian. Yes, I go to church but that in itself is not a magic pill to erase all my struggles. I still cuss when I get irritated and I have unpleasant thoughts (obviously). However, I strive to better myself as time goes on. I'll never be the Bible-thumping-you're-going-to-Hell-if-you're-not-saved type. That's just not me.

You also ask what would Ruby want? I think somewhere in the earlier messages I stated that her being the sweetheart she was, even she would want me to drop it. As much as I struggle I just can't. Hence my going to church and seeking this forum. Will I ever come to peace with this struggle? Only God knows.

I appreciate the fact you love you animals. I have to ask, have you ever seen your pet get attacked followed by the responsible party being smug and uncaring? I'm willing to bet you haven't. But then, maybe you have. My point is is if you experienced what I went through and you found it in yourself to "drop it", then my hat is off to you. You can handle those situations far better than I ever could.

Now about the whole assault thing. I hope you understand what I'm saying. I'm not looking to just walk up to him and hit him. I could have done that years ago as I could have camped outside his house and waited for the opportunity. No, I would just treasure the one day he runs his mouth and I could bark back and let things go from there. Not very Christian, I agree. However, that is what I think about. Maybe I could just leave well-enough alone as it is clear he wants to avoid me. He knows he's wrong and a coward.

Lastly, all your Biblical quotes were very comforting. Ever since my struggle with this, I have written down a few of my own and recite them quietly when I have a few minutes. I find comfort in that. A particular favorite is 1 Corinthians 9:26.... "Therefore I do not run aimlessly. I do not box as one beating the air."

I wish you peace.