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Originally Posted by Bill3
What if you set out to to develop a better social pattern--by, for example, seeking therapy, by avoiding the "comforting friend" role, by "sitting with" anxiety rather than avoiding situations that give rise to it?
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I do see a therapist once a week. I did however have some bad experiences (about which I have written here a few years ago) and it took me over a year to build up some trust.
I've had in-patient treatment for two years and was in a year-long trajectory after that but all that turned out to be a great farce. Most was CBT based and that just does not work for me: I push myself too far and therapists don't pick up the signals that things are becoming too difficult or they don't believe my feedback until I crash. I do have my reasons to distrust the entire therapuetic establishment and I am not sure if anything will ever work for me.
On the other hand, I can function (more or less) in certain social contexts, despite my anxiety but when I consider building up a connection, that is just impossible and I don't see any improvement on that front.
It is recognizing what happened before in my current behaviour that terrifies me. But at the same time I am convinced I have no other options and that gives me the feeling I have no choice but to continue on this path.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
It seems to me that dancing, and having a good sense of humour, in themselves require social skills, attunement to others. What if you set out to build on those skills in order to reach your goal of more satisfying social experiences?
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I understand this as: "Everything is there, I just have to learn how to use it." In a way that is a comforting thought ...