Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope
Thank you, everyone. I appreciate all your thoughts and input. 
As far as I knew, she had some sort of insurance policy with $250,000 or more in it and that was her only money left. It was meant to cover her, should she need additional care.
And omg, I am SO lost... last night he called and we talked for a while. He is now insisting on giving me 10K out of his inheritance to help me, and because I had asked him about it. I was SO exhausted and SO burnt out, that I eventually agreed to let him. He kept insisting, and I kept saying no, until I finally just succumbed.
But now, after sleeping on it, I don't think I can accept this money. He tells me it will make him feel better to be able to help me, and that it will ease all my worries about finding a roommate, about making my rent, and needing to borrow from mom. He said it was wrong of him to offer me money in exchange for dating him.
He also believes I am not dating anyone right now. I did not correct him. I still feel it's none of his business to know what I am doing, regardless of anything.
IF I accept this money, I will feel obligated to speak to him whenever I run into him socially. I will not have the clean break I seek.
I may even feel guilty for taking it, and he could be using this as a way to make me look bad to other people... like, see, I gave her 10K, now she won't even speak to me, and she's dating someone else. What a biotch she is. I can just see it all now.
It could also force me to be nice to him at all times, accept his calls when he does call and to respond to each text. It will make me feel obligated to keep the lines of communication open.
I cannot accept this money, and I need to tell him this right now. |
Obviously it was more than 250k because if each boy got 180 or what not. He supposedly had zero money and could not even give you 1 K for the chair.
Listen he owes you that money. For expensive wedding and honeymoon that you paid for solely, like literally unheard of be honest, he never paid even a half let alone more that that. He bought a ring, but that’s what men always do. Wedding and engagement rings don’t fall into mutual expense. And jerk paid for it with ex wife’s money. He owes you. You endlessly spent on him.
Enough with this “I must be nice”. You must be civil in public. What’s this with being nice?
In addition moving out in the middle of lease puts undue burden on the one who stays. He owes for that too. You gave him back a deposit which he used on drugs last year. He can pay it back.
The way it needs to be worded. “You owed me money and now with these how many thousands you give me now we are in the clear, thanks for paying back”. Remain polite. No you do not need to accept calls or otherwise go out of your way at all for the duration of your life.
These niceties gets you no where. What is it to do with you dating or running into him. So now you must suffer because you are afraid he’ll say something to someone? To whom? Who cares? Yes it will be clean break. Dude put you through too much. Take the money and bye Felicia. That’s your clean break
Where does it get you in life with this “must be nice to men”. You shouldn’t be uncivil. But nice? why?
Also he is now offering 10k in a hurry because he figured you are addressing it with a lawyer and judge and likely will get more money from him. So he figured out 10k will shut you up in a hurry and you won’t ask for more in court. The guy is manipulative jerk treating you like you are stupid and you still “must be nice”. No
Take the money or fight for more