My Support Forums - View Single Post - Being someone who is supposed to wait for others to initiate contact

rdgrad15 · Apr 14, 2023 at 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nonightowl

LOVE the running cheetah avatar! Fastest animal on land.

The person who really vented on you was probably hoping to make a connection. That's how most people (I think) attempt to connect, by sharing something personal. It's a real risk to make oneself vulnerable like that.

I don't believe in the "meant to be" mindset, which applies our destiny is already mapped out. Yet we are told we are in control of our lives and nothing ventured, nothing gained. If some people are "meant" to have all these friends and others are not, what's up with that?? Why not them?

What I've heard repeatedly is "Things happen for a reason." It's really the cruelest thing to say to anyone in crisis. It's repeated so much it's accepted as FACT. It's destiny. It's a "good thing" that it sucks now.

I guess it's a balancing act. It also takes a lot of time and energy to invest in a potential friendship only to have NO reciprocity or the person/people turn out to be superficial or substandard. Honestly I'm out of gas now (to use the tank of gas in a car analogy). I don't even have any fumes left. I've tried and tried, SO HARD and you don't know the half of it. I have other stuff that I have to use my energy on and can't do both. Just don't have the bandwidth, to use a WiFi analogy.

I agree, it's definitely a balancing act since you don't want to come off as too cold but you don't want to seem too eager either. It's an act I've mastered over the years, I don't stand there and act unapproachable but I don't just walk up to a random person and be like "hey how's it going" as if we already knew each other.