My Support Forums - View Single Post - Being someone who is supposed to wait for others to initiate contact

nonightowl · 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

In terms of comfortable silence with someone I know, I'm perfectly okay with that as well. There are a select few people where I can be silent with them in their presence and it doesn't bother me, it's part of being an introvert.

Also I've had people take the initiative to exchange phone numbers only for them to get annoyed when I text them, it's why I no longer text someone first even if they take the initiative to exchange numbers unless I absolutely have to. Yeah people can catch on when you're not being authentic and honestly I've seen this happen with extroverts too, I'll observe an extrovert trying to insert themselves in a conversation and I can usually tell when their presence isn't welcomed among others but the extrovert appears to be oblivious about it.

Gosh it looks like something I posted.

Fellow introverts are certainly more comfortable with silence. After 30 years I still remember a guy I used to date who was so uncomfortable with silence! If I wasn't talking he'd ask what am I thinking about. It got to be so annoying. 10 years later I met someone who was perfectly comfortable with silence. As a matter of fact, someone he met just once ghosted him because he didn't talk enough on the first date! Well it takes time to get used to someone new, especially if an introvert.

Extroverts always butt into conversations and interrupt too, which is rude. I'm not sure but heard since introverts are in touch with their feelings, we have more empathy for others and pick up on non-verbal clues.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

Honestly that person was probably trying to make a connection and made a big mistake in the process. No one wants to hear a person they just met vent about all their issues and I've been there myself as well. That's how I learned what's the social norm and what's not that's why I never vent at all whatsoever. I know it's not wise to just wait around but sometimes it appears to be the best and only option.

I can't say I never vent but will about something not personal, like how I had trouble getting through to customer service at the bank or something like that. Hopefully something most people would relate to.

You're right sometimes waiting is the best option, depending on the circumstances. Honestly I'm literally exhausted from chasing after people.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

I agree, it's definitely a balancing act since you don't want to come off as too cold but you don't want to seem too eager either. It's an act I've mastered over the years, I don't stand there and act unapproachable but I don't just walk up to a random person and be like "hey how's it going" as if we already knew each other.

Unfortunately I don't think I mastered it and what little I did went out the window the last 3 years. (3 years?!!) My bs radar is rusty, due to the mostly isolation of the last 3 years. If I'm not around people or even talking to them, I get out of practice.

I think I posted that here or in a similar thread so sorry if repeating myself. It's just this subject is something I'm so adamant about: Communication. Say what you mean and mean what you say. It reminds me of that line from the song "Games People Play."

You said earlier about COVID and weird people, how they got weirder. I agree. There's always been weird people. But COVID made them even weirder, or made people weird who weren't that way before. This virus didn't just make people physically sick. It hit people mentally too.

And on that note, I'd have lost my mind years ago if not finding out others have similar experiences. That way I know it's not just me and it's a relief.