@Samicat and @Soupe du jour and @Nammu Of course you are grieving. That is the healthiest "thing" you can do, one step at the time (when the grief knocks at your doors)! People who try to be clever and go on as if life is normal without these loved persons, will probably have a fall down later.

I know you struggle, but I wish you "Good luck" with that. May every step of that difficult journey make you whole again! But please take care of yourselves as well, healthy meals, enough sleep if possible and physical activities of some kind for your living bodies. A walk in fresh air clears the mind too.

I am OK for the time being looking forward to my vacation.