I was born with PDD-NOS, ADD. The ADD was suppressed, turned into OCD. The autism was suppressed, turned into Avoidant PD.

I was being abused by my ex step dad and normal trauma that happened as a kid (For being too sensitive). The only thing I complained about was "severe agitation and depression". I was given a bottle of 120x 0.5mg clonazepam, and my mom kept it in the closet for 2 years.

I went to the ER (After my ex step dad attacked me and I attempted suicide), they asked "Are you hearing voices" (And I was.. I was so confused, I didn't even notice). So I was put on Prozac and risperidone - Stopped the risperidone (Obviously - Who wouldn't?), then I was severely neglected (+ The self isolation from AvPD), put on 5mg of Abilify, was knocking myself out with hoarded risperidone. I was then put on Concerta.

I then swallowed 92 of the clonazepams, went to school the next day.. My mom drove me in the snow to the ER - I swallowed the bottle of Concerta, my mom threatened to sue the hospital, and I was psychotic AF (Maybe from clonazepam rebound), I was sent to the psych ward in an ambulance.

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia (When I thought I just had OCD), was put on the Abilify injection. My roommates were doing lines of hydromorphone on the bedside table and I was curious and said "Can I have a line" - They then brought in cocaine and used all of my money to give me crack (From the taxi drivers), they got in trouble/kicked out and I stayed for a while. I was put on 60mg of Vyvanse (Cuz it's better for the heart than Concerta), then got sent back into society. When I got out, I was taken off the Vyvanse CT, was in bed for 10 days - My mom stood on a chair, turn on the lights and said "Wake TF up!", I was put back on Concerta.

I then became severely impulsive, self destructive, reckless and started chugging bottles of liquor and such - My mom told the liquor store to stop serving me. I then started spending all of my money on research chemicals (Mostly bath salts), was still severely neglected. Didn't eat, overdosing, vomiting, dancing, crying, taking selfies, laughing, having camera sex etc - All alone.

I then tripped on 4-AcO-DMT (While in the back of my ex step dads truck while he was driving), got sent to the psych ward (Again), went to rehab (And while there, got sexually harassed by an old man in a really super weird way), felt threatened, weirded out and took the 4-AcO-DMT again when I got out (An overdose), and that changed my life.. My ex step dad won the lottery a few months later and left us stranded in the middle of no where the next day.. Used us for citizenship.

I then went back to the psych ward (Voluntarily) for independent living.. I was taken off the Abilify (Cuz I was on too much), got put on Invega injection + olanzepine.. I felt better, more cautious, careful, mindful.. But I couldn't make goals - I had no idea what life was. I was put on Vyvanse again (But my heart was beating 110bpm - So had to stop).

I started having dissociative panic attacks that would last for hours (I didn't realize that it was DPDR from tripping until years later), started buying dark web drugs, got my bank account shared with my mom (She took all of my money) and during 2018, I was drug free.. I moved to a tourist resort, got better, listened to podcasts.. improved greatly.. Started having deep philosophical, motivating thoughts..

From the stimulant abuse, I developed tachycardia (Or it could just be physical anxiety) - I was taken off of the stimulant for about a year, got put on atenolol, and then tried stimulant medication again (My heart rate and blood pressure has been fine), I grew mentally, socially (Friends/family connection), physically (Exercise), spiritually, etc.. And will try to achieve the best life.. Vacations, working part time, learning, relaxing... I still struggle greatly.. I search about corruption news... People rarely give me credit for how far I've come, but I blame myself (But not 100%) - My ex step dad was an evil *. The fight (When I was 16) started cuz I said "My dad pays for the food" - My real dad? He visits often, and lifted me up always, like a shaman. "Look at how far you've come, you were ****ed up! I would have been too. You're normal, nothing wrong with you. You're not crazy. I am".

I microdose psychedelics, very conservative with doses etc.. My frontal lobe took a while to develop, but it developed fine..

The Drug That Makes You Spend All Your Money — OK Whatever