I have a funeral to go to next week. I've been going to a lot of funerals lately. The fact that so many older people in my family are dying makes me ponder my own future. I don't have any children, and I'm not married. I haven't even been in a real relationship in many years. It makes me feel depressed because I know that once certain people pass away (like my mother, for instance) there will be no one there to care about me. I'll be well and truly alone. I don't like that the deaths and suffering of others makes me reflect on myself like this; it makes me feel like I'm a shallow person who only cares about what happens to me and how the suffering of others affects me. I should be selfless, not selfish.