i was sitting in my room all alone my son is gone for the month visiting his dad and i did it something i haven't done in a long time. i feel ashamed and worthless i feel like i can't do anything right ... it had been a year since i injured... why now? I feel as if everything is piling in on me. with extreme summer triggers about past abuse and the stupid believe that it is my fault why can't i get past this? how long is it going to take for me to believe what happened to me is not my fault and that i don't deserve to be punished. it is like i can say it but i don't believe it .... i am so mad at myself! i know better than that i know it won't help but i feel all alone like no one cares and like it woundn't really matter ....