How do we know whats reality from our past and whats stuff our damaged traumatised brains made up?

For example, how do i know whether it was two passive suicide attempts i made, or three?

How do i know whether Thomas the tank engine came up the stairs one night in 2012 to kill me?

How do i know whether my ribs come out of my body in 2012 to try strangle me?

How do i know whether the curtains in 2012 were making faces at me to upset me?

How do i know whether a car came through a bedroom wall in 2012 to run me over and make sure i was dead?

How can i be sure i didnt successfully do a suicide in 2012 and im alive and not dead and in another universe

How can i be sure that i wont get as badly suicidal as i was in 2012, again? When the professionals thought i was making everything up

Why in the crap would anyone decide to make stuff like what i said in this post, up?????

Trigger warning button not accepting itself, sorry