You'll also eventually pity me once you get sick of me. New people always seem to not.

It's like all my words always just fall, become meaningless. On whats supposed to be a support forum.

So I either have to trust myself (Which I do), but maybe other people know me more, and what's right, what's better for me... Just making OCD thoughts go mad. Everyone does this to me. BPD-type thing. And then my mind erases.

I don't care if I torture myself.

And to the rest, I'm stubborn as ****. I won't stop until I understand or get feedback and not the innocent opposite of what you feel about me. Be honest and stop hiding. I'm trying my best. It's like talking to a wall - It's always been that way. So when there's actual people? It's rhetorical, cuz I'm afraid of rejection.

But anyways, this place is terrible for me.