And maybe it's some glass wall - Where I turn it around, see myself from 3rd person, and it's disturbing as all hell. That's reality, some weird.. formation of things that interact like pool tubes or spaghetti being thrown around.

Wtf am I supposed to do with this stuff? Did I ask for it? I could go search all of the random topics that I can't organize for the life of me, ask ChatGPT or a therapist a bunch of questions, talk for hours, procrastinate things for hours and regret it all like my severely regretted past that I always talk about.

I try not to talk about it, be positive - But maybe the positivity seems fake.

Am I being helpful enough? That's what I'm starting with.