How do I not know anything and people are on the streets, protesting about nonsense - And all of the people that someone with schizophrenia is paranoid about? It's a metaphor of protection in a society where most people don't know that there's evil people pulling the strings, and that bleeds into all of our lives. And it's often caused by stress of THAT or trauma, lodging itself in the mind regardless of the universal stress of this BS society.

And people are like "The man is keeping me down", and have to overcome etc.. But how does someone reorientate themselves, to manifest it on mass scale.. to change something... And everyone's realities are different....

Love is what I'm talking about, the lack of it. Sure, my mom regrets so much and tries to make up for it - And I don't know exactly how to forgive when I've been tortured for so long.

And who cares.. Everyone knows that it wasn't as bad as most people because i made a complete joke out of the thing. It's a ****ing sick joke. And yeah, you hear people in this mental state - You know how they are, they're like this - And nothing you can do about it. Even myself, I'm just like "Why is this person so negative.. something must have happened - But I don't want to be around anyone like that". And when there's pity, and being as aware etc, it hurts. You can't get away with that **** without me defending myself, for what ever I'm worth at this point.