Hugs to you. I tend to think of my journey as two steps forward and one step back. It's very common for us to question ourselves, as a matter of fact, I've been doing it the last few days....

It helps me to make a list of undeniable things to look at when things feel shaky. He's the only one who's threatened divorce, he's the only one who calls names, I've never told him to shut up, that's him.... You get the idea.

This has been a step backwards week for me. Feeling pretty miserable here. He's in good-boy mode, looking like he's doing all the right things, and the passive aggressive behaviors are at a bit of a pitch. And it's mostly plausibly deniable except that it's a pattern with him. It sucks.

But you are right, narcs rarely think they are narcs. Only people who aren't narcs are likely to worry that they are that kind of person. Just look at your kids and spend time with them. It's pretty clear you put their needs first. That alone should tell you pretty much everything you need to know.

Hang in there.