Ok....

I need some advice. Thinking ahead.

My wife definitely has some BPD and vulnerable narcissist traits.

I also know she endured a lot growing up. I got to know her family well over the years.

I know she was the outcast from her family, and that she carries a lot of pain.

I know there was nothing I could do that was enough to fill that hole, and there was nothing I could do in our home that was enough. I chased moving targets; clean the house, do homework, my car is making a noise, I need help with my degree, get the kids outside so I can have some peace, you didn't even make time for us today...

Right now, though she threatened divorce for years and wrecked her relationship with the kids, she sees herself as the victim. We're at home, doing well. She.... Got what she threatened. She's living a liberated independent life!!! Ummm.... Without her kids, in an apartment, without my income to support her, and without me to look after things when she's sick.

I feel sympathy for her.

What do I do when her "friends" (who she traded us for, and who have ditched her in the past), unload her and she crashes hard?

What do I do when she loses her job, experiences a personal loss, or ends up in hospital again?