You're only human, and that's okay. It's more than okay.

I've probably made more than my share of mistakes too.

Accountability has been a big thing around this house the past few weeks- funny you should mention it. Namely that dh cannot or will not take responsibility for the things he's done. I try my best to be accountable for my mistakes. Guessing you do to.

All relationships have issues, but how things work out often depends on the willingness to communicate, own our shortcomings, and negotiate to a place where all parties are comfortable. You can only own 50% of that.

You may feel like you made a mistake with the porn (not everybody thinks that's a big deal), but do you think that she was really hurt by it? Or do you think she weaponized it? Both? What about the things she did? Can she really claim the moral high ground? Mistakes were made all around, but what was done with them says a lot. You own your mistakes, you don't have to pay for them for the rest of your life.