It’s so unfortunate that your wife chooses to self medicate with alcohol. All that does is add on another problem because alcohol further damages the brain and deteriorates the kidneys and liver and heart. It’s also a depressant that traps a person into feeling awful yet getting up and continuing to consume and damaging.

That being said ptsd can get so crippling and the only way you would really understand it is if you yourself experienced it. You can get angry and frustrated and even feel betrayed, but don’t choose to punish someone that has already been abused in horrific ways.

Your wife isn’t looking to take money from you or “punish you by making you pay”. She is not being abusive or vindictive or narcissistic.

While it’s very hard to let go and give up the partnership you wanted for life, at least don’t choose to punish. Your wife has already had enough of that and is now being crippled by it all these years later.