I agree with Rhapsody - in that problems are never about the amount of anything. It's about everything else, usually. I was in a similar situation - was with my wife for about 5-6 years before we got married. There could be simple things in life that mess with his mind that are from early childhood (I had lots of this) that counseling helped with.

Remember that counseling only works if both parties agree to open their minds and hearts to it and really work on what the caues are. Many times, it's things like what their parents taught them when they were kids or other "personality chemistry and brainwashing" that happens to you as you try to find yourself in life.

Marriage is a wonderful thing - but it has the ability to turn into something horrific if you don't feed it and care for it (like a garden). Also, the garden analagy is good - since a garden is only "beautiful and healthy" when well-kept. But also remember that some people find extreme beauty in a patch of nasty weeds.