Thanks, a lot of what you write does resonate with me, I’m really sorry you’ve been struggling with this too and like me it sounds lifelong?

I wish I had more answers - for all of us who struggle in this way. I do appreciate what you’ve shared, and I hope that you’ve gained something too from sharing.

What I’m doing these days is a lot of self care, focusing on things that make me feel content and accomplished, strangely a lot of that is household chores, they actually ground me. Exercise helps me feel good. I know I wrote about volunteering and you weren’t sure it was right for you but I was lucky enough to find one volunteer job which ticks so many boxes for me - although not all of those jobs are as good, it’s trial and error often.

This is going to sound a bit sappy but in a way it’s a bit like being your own best friend if that makes sense. Nurturing yourself and what keeps you happy.

People can be downright strange sometimes no doubt about it, I can feel the bewilderment you describe in your posts and I’m sorry for it. Be kind to yourself @jesyka