This Tom doesn’t exist. The thing is that these people don’t work alone. It’s a big chain of international scammers and they take turns writing their emails.

He’s (or rather they as he doesn’t operate alone) likely isn’t and hasn’t ever lived in the US. The phone numbers they use are typically google numbers or someone’s cell number that immediately get deleted. Their accents they always claim to be from Germany or Switzerland because it sounds less alarming than from one of the countries where many scammers usually operate from. And they always have an accent. They always lost wives to cancer and have one child etc

There is a website where you can post your story to warn others (I have to look for it I forgot the name). .

Oh also pictures they use are stolen of innocent peoples face book and other platform. Those people are also scam victims.

Romance scams should be reported to police and FBI. They’ll take the report if you lost any money. If you didn’t lose any money, they might not bother but it’s worth to try. In the entire history of scamming international scammers were caught once in Australia. They are sadly impossible to catch because it’s a chain. Not a person