That's great that you see the utter absurdity of her suggesting parenting classes together.

Just keep the concept of control and manipulation forefront in your mind. She's managed to control things so long that it probably hasn't crossed her mind that she's in trouble yet. They can be very long-game thinkers. If they don't succeed this round, they'll get you on the next. Or so they may think.

Stay levelled and trust your own reality.

My DH has repeatedly attempted to coerce me into therapy, which I know is a trap since he's so good at manipulating and playing the victim. Just the approach is from such a place of self interest, it even feels like it is more about control than it is about making anything right. Your wife sounds similar in her approach. She doesn't seem interested in anyone else's feelings or needs, just focused on what she thinks will work for her- and more importantly, how to snare other people into it.

Great job dealing with her. Aren't boundaries much easier once you can see clearly again?

ETA: she may be focused most on your DD because that's the person in the group that she thinks will be the easiest to manipulate.