Hi,

I have this one friend that sent a mass group text telling everyone to "save the date" that involved going out to a city that is really inconvenient to get to and pretty much impossible to drive/park in, and it is a really big expense since she expects everyone to pay her way and also get a hotel, and they are super expensive in that area. It is for a birthday, and it is not a "big" birthday, if that makes sense. I made up an excuse, but I really wish I could have just said no that I don't feel like it. But I just didn't have the heart to do so. It just seems like a lot, and I thought it was presumptuous, but not sure if it is just me for thinking that way?. I have this feeling that she would be annoyed and that it would hurt the friendship if I said I was not up to it.

On top of that, people in the group text keep texting at weird hours and carrying on conversation, and I do not know these people. I was getting texts at 5am and 12am that are nonsense, and I do not know any of them except for my friend. I just found out how to silence it.

My other friend just asked if I'd be willing to do something for her birthday that requires a lot of physical activity, and I said no since I'm really not up for it. She did not get back to me yet. It took a lot for me to say "no." Hopefully she isn't upset at me. It was easier for me to say no since she texted me individually and just asked me if it was something I was interested in.

I wish I could work on not people-pleasing and wondering if anyone has any suggestions when it comes to turning down invitations that are out of your comfort zone or simply something you really do not want to do. I do understand sometimes we need to do things for people we do not want to do, so it is a hard balance. Also.... do you think my friend was asking for too much?