The first one is a huge ask, IMO. Especially if the birthday girl isn't footing the bill. The fact she expects other people to pay for her is outrageous unless her group of friends has a tradition of doing this for each other.
The second request - she asked you, and you said no. That should be fine.
Making up an excuse is fine. I think a lot of people do that if they don't want to potentially hurt someone's feelings. But I think it should also be okay to say that you don't want to spend so much money, or drive somewhere unfamiliar.
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