The first one is a huge ask, IMO. Especially if the birthday girl isn't footing the bill. The fact she expects other people to pay for her is outrageous unless her group of friends has a tradition of doing this for each other.


The second request - she asked you, and you said no. That should be fine.

Making up an excuse is fine. I think a lot of people do that if they don't want to potentially hurt someone's feelings. But I think it should also be okay to say that you don't want to spend so much money, or drive somewhere unfamiliar.