Tough night last night.

We were having a decent conversation and she quickly turned it into all the things in her assessment that I had not done . I asked her to explain more about what she was feeling.
The stuff she was saying didn't make sense or sound even close to accurate. Her anxiety spiked and she said no I can not talk about this . She asked me to walk away so I did . I made one more comment, " I wish we could find a way to communicate better in these moments ."

That resulted in her almost yelling at me saying " this is the reason I want a divorce" ...I walked away .

None of it makes any sense, it's like I asked her to share her concerns so I could understand where she was coming from because I care still and instead of trying to communicate she throws up a wall and shuts down . It's our lack of consistent communication that led to our issues .

It felt a lot like she expected me to instantly apologize for anything that she struggles with whether it's true or not and whether it's reality or her perception of it and because I didn't she shifts to anger to try to get me to acknowledge fault .

This is awful....I want my wife back, the one I fell in love with who loved me back . I don't think I will ever get that, I understand this is mostly her PTSD and at the same time this is killing me inside . I hate this evil PTSD so very much and what it has taken from both of us . It's not fair