My heart goes out to you, sadmanagain. So much of what you write, could have come from my life.

My DH is supposedly not drinking, but he has personality shifts throughout the day that make me suspicious that he might be. He was once so good natured and inexplicably, in very short time, he became volitile and mean. It's like living in the twilight zone. He's had some rare and scary health issues, and is still having problems that remain undiagnosed and is at the point that the doctors are starting to dismiss him. Like you, I feel a lot of compassion for him, but am also fatigued from being an emotional punching bag.

It sucks to feel helpless to fix the relationship. It sucks to feel abandoned and attacked for seemingly no good reason.

(((Hugs)))). You are not alone.