"divine1966 - What’s the long term plan? Divorce, stay separated, reconcile? Seems a bit in a limbo. If neither files for divorce, not sure what settlement she is talking about. If she wants it, she needs to file"

That's what I was saying....

Her initial plan was she was going to have half the value of the house, half my pension, and half my pay by April. I offered to mediate quickly, and she declined.
- oops - lawyers take time and money, she can't get the house until we are pushed out which may take years, and she can't get support payments if the kids are with me.

Her plan then became that she was going to force daughter to live with her, and force me to sell the house, and force me to stay in the job I'm in plus get more work to pay her support.
- oops - you can't make a kid over 13 live with you, and if forced to court we will be granted exclusivity of the house until the youngest is done college, and if forced to court she'll be paying me child support. And if she pushes it to court her drinking, reckless driving and erratic behavior will be shared with the court.

Her plan also was that the oldest was on his own and not counted in any support payments, and in fact his income will support ME so that I can more easily pay HER more support money.
- oops - he is counted until he's done college if he chooses to go, and in fact she'll have to pay a big portion of his costs.

Her plan was daughter would be with her and I'd be working two jobs sharing a place with our son.
- oops- if we do get forced out we're leaving the region for cheaper housing, and she's paying child support and she's here alone.

Yet, she still darn well flexes on me all the time about me facing the consequences of my actions.

WOW.....I want to tell her off.

I also want to save her from her own thinking and have peace!

As angry as I am, I'm still attached to her. I still miss her, and this all HURTS.