I'm also sorry that you are struggling with this.

You said you were documenting things, how about journaling? Rather than just note what has happened, you could record your feelings in association with them. I personally find this more validating- remembering what it was I felt in the moment versus analyzing what looks like by facts. IDK...

What I do know is that there are a lot of us on this forum who look back at red flags we saw early and didn't heed. It's hard to leave any relationship, but harder the older it gets. In so many ways it doesn't really matter how accurate or inaccurate your feelings may be, because you are still going to feel those, right?

If your heart already knows that person isn't the one, don't try to fit them into a mold in your mind. One YouTuber calls that "crap fitting" where instead of getting a truly good fit, you try and force it to be something it's not. Doing that isn't fair to either of you.

Hope you figure it out soon.