Hugs to you.

It's a hardcore control technique and one of the worst forms of emotional abuse. It's one of my DH's favorite tactics. Then later he complains I don't talk/communicate with him.

If they know it bothers you, they will double down.

Best advice someone gave me: enjoy the silence. Separate yourself, don't try to engage, let the other person do that. Go do something you enjoy. I tell dh, "if you need something, just let me know.". Then I take care of what I can on my own and let the rest ride. It hurts, especially when you want to communicate with someone, but they are making their choice. Back off and don't engage the behavior and you might be surprised at how she responds once you aren't reacting the way she's come to like and expect.

I wish you the best. It's a crummy thing to deal with.