That may be true however her calling a lawyer WAS a choice.

Choosing to take the easy way out (for her) instead of doing the hard work by explaining her situation and asking if there was a way she could have more space. Perhaps even having herself evaluated and getting checked into a facility
that can help her or at least see a trauma specialist on a weekly basis while we as a team easily could afford such things . I would have worked with her on any of those things as I love her.

Instead she is choosing divorce and her every other week social worker. Her decisions are poorly thought out.

I sympathize with her illness and what she has endured. I truly do.
At the same time it's hard to have sympathy for her choice and the damage her choice inflicts upon me , our son and to some extent herself. It will take me months if not years to get over the damage she has inflicted on me .
The feelings of being a failure at the most important job I had. Feeling like I do now, unloved and discarded by the person whom I basically did everything for for the last 3 decades out of love that she is willing to sacrifice is so damaging to my mental health I don't know how to express it on words alone.

Knowing that a alt child persona was probably one of main voices she based her decision on makes my soul cry out in anguish. Understanding her self meditation with alcohol only makes it all worse ( half a fifth of rum in the last 3 days ) also kills me .

She didn't choose to have her problems I know, neither did I .

I chose to promise to be there for her and love her forever in sickness and health good times and bad. She did as well . I kept my promise she did not .

I will never be cruel to her despite all this . I am just very sad and hurt