I don't know why my brother and sister created homes of squalor. It wasn't anything learned from my parents or grandparents. Before my dad became ill enough to go to assisted living, I remember him voicing that he wanted to move out of his own house to live in an apartment, because of my brother's habits and other behavior. As for my sister's house, most of the hoarding is from her husband and my eldest nephew. But my b-i-l's parents kept their home neat and clean, too. My sister seems to now see the squalor as almost normalized. I wonder if my refusing to stay in my dad's house seems to her as some form of insult, given her living conditions. I have tried not to lecture her about it, but have brought up that it is not normal and they are unhealthy conditions in live in. Like many hoarders, they are hesitant to let anyone in. They almost refused to let me come in to even eat lunch with them (on my lap). The excuse was that they had no chair for me to sit on. I told my sister she could just move enough for a little space. Her house is actually a nice one, minus the hoarding and squalor. After over 30 years her kitchen cabinets have yet to ever have doors. Obviously all of this is born from mental illness. Illness that they refuse to properly address.