Another awful evening, this is so draining, I went to bed 3 hours early I was so defeated and depressed.

I have come to a conclusion, which I believe fits this scenario. I need to accept that she isn't the image of her that's in my mind which is built from 30 years of wonderful memories. I want her to be but she is not .

She is a damaged person who is now a stranger who looks like the woman I love .
This is so unfair, it's not how it was supposed to be. It's going to take me a long time to heal .

My relationship has changed because she can't love me the way I need to be loved anymore.....

I wish something could give me the strength to endure this and come out the other side healed and ok . I am so lost and I need to find myself.