Hugs to you.

I feel very lost as well. Most days I don't feel like I have a future, and that scares the heck out of me. Once DD has grown enough to be independent, I fear I will become obsolete, as she is my main focus at this point.

The person, my mate, who was here, who was supposed to continue to be here, who I was going to keep having adventures with throughout life, disappeared somewhere along the way. Physically, he's still here, but my friend isn't here in a meaningful way anymore, I don't feel like there's much to look forward to. Even if he changed back, there's a lot of water under the bridge that makes things different now. That would be better, but still... you know.

I try not to think about it too much.

Life has a weird way of taking you where you need to go. One day at a time.

OTOH we're free in some very big ways too. We can redefine ourselves. Grow into ourselves. Again, one day at a time.

Emotional pain sucks.

FWIW, I think your bowling score is pretty good. It will be fun to see how you do as you do more of it. Most of my games don't make it out of the double digits. Been a long time since I've bowled though. Still love it.

Thinking of you sadmanagain. Hope you've had a decent weekend.