I have recently lost a lot of weight and gained a lot of muscle and my body shape is better than it was 10 years ago. I am by no means at my original, premorbid (before meds) weight and I am still technically obese (BMI = 36), but the body shape is fine, meaning you cannot see my tummy unless I wear body hugging dresses (I do not) and everything is proportionate. I do not mind having meaty (and strong) thighs, it is the belly that used to cause so much unhappiness to me.

With this highly welcome change, I am now enjoying choosing what clothing to wear for work, but have questions as to the limits of appropriateness. For instance, I have turquoise blue tights and I am thinking of wearing them to the office paired with a black pencil midi skirt and a black top and I think we the current "mores" (ripped jeans, tattoos, and what not) it would be OK, but what about getting a cold shoulder top or even a top with both shoulders off?

I look fine thanks to diligent application of Retin-A and mineral sunscreen and general measures to protect my skin from the sun (driving in gloves that block UV sunlight, never tanning, those things). I guess I should also give thanks to Morpheus-8 done last year. I get color touch-ups every month so no grey shows (I have some grey on the top of my head). But I do not want to delude myself: I am 52 and I look like a 52 year woman who has smooth skin, not like a 42 year old woman. There are many things besides wrinkles that give away the age (how about maturity of judgment and wisdom?).

I should add that inside I feel as if I were twenty something.

So I find myself wanting to dress festively and to make up for years spent in tent-like clothing when I could not find a solution for the meds-induced weight gain and lived in despair.

At the same time I fear becoming the laughingstock. Is it even a relevant fear or has the idea that you dress more conservatively with age become obsolete with all the modern societal changes? What are your thoughts?

When I wrote about tops with shoulders off, I did not mean for the office. Blue tights with an otherwise black outfit, that I plan to wear to the office. I work in technology, so the unwritten dress code is casual. And I often dress very conservatively, it is just that sometimes I want to spice things up and am wondering how far I can go in this direction.

Looking forward to reading your thoughts.