Even the professionals turned their backs on you and called you a ''time waster''. How UN ''professional'' and negligent of them. I'm so sorry they added to your distress in such a callous manner. It's a form of gaslighting when this happens I believe.

Have you read Pete Walker's ''complex PTSD - from surviving to thriving''? I think you might find some of it helpful. Much more evolved and thoughtful than some ''professionals'' in some areas.... (and it's not only so called ''borderlines'' that some of those abuse, of course ''borderlines'' are as valuable - and actually ''treatable'' - as anyone else in any case, despite some of the outdated ''literature'' out there..)

((( hugs )))