I feel like I’ve lived 37 years with absolutely nothing to show for it. I feel like there are so many things I want to do, can do, and should do in my life, and I don’t know what they are. I’m not feeling suicidal or like harming myself, but it has crossed my mind that if I were to not wake up tomorrow morning, no one would notice. I would not have lived my life to the max, and I hate that feeling. I’ve already come to terms with the fact that I will probably be single with no kids for the rest of my life, and I’m okay with that. But I want to work in Antarctica. I want to see the world. I want to create amazing art. What i don’t want to do is waste away in the Denver suburbs in retail pharmacy. Ugh. I don’t more why I’m feeling this way tonight. But it’s something that is really bothering me, I guess. All I have is my job, my cat, and my Etsy jewelry shop that has barely made any money whatsoever. I need more. I need to do more. I probably sound crazy.

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