I have been drinking for a long time, well 11 years wich seems long to me. Even longer if you count my teen years. In the last 3 years it has hit its peak. I lost 2 jobs that I really loved and one boyfriend that I cared for alot....just not as much as that next beer. When I drink I'm not even the same person anymore. I have done things that are beyond stupid and even dangerous. Last time I got drunk I left my house to meet someone I should never have been meeting in the first place and fell and almost broke my ankle. I should have went straight to the hospital but I was 2 drunk to face it so I went to bed and woke up unable to walk. I had to crawl to the car and get dropped off there. I always feel ashamed and guilty the next day not to mention scared that I acted so terribly.... Has anyone else experienced this and how do you beat it? I still have the desire to drink and I come up with every excuse in the book for why I should. I can't seem to except that fun can exist without drinking. This is a learned thing for me because my whole family drinks for every occasion that there is.........I feel so pathetic because I know it is wrong...............It has such a strong hold.