Someone once told me something along the lines of what Tisha Buv said, which is that it wouldn't matter who you are, they would have treated you the same way. There was probably nothing you could have done to alter the treatment. If one of your other siblings had been born in the # position that you were, they likely would have been the scapegoat. That may vary slightly diending on boy versus girl, but not by much.
Don't know why, but that made me step back and realize just how much it isn't me. It still hurts because who doesn't want to be loved and accepted by their parents?