Quote:
Originally Posted by Discombobulated
Hi OP sorry for a late response, I just read this today - how are things going for you and your wife?
I’m curious as to why you feel you can’t approach her about the possibility of autism traits? Why do you feel she would react badly to this?
One thing I’d like to suggest is having an open discussion, not one that is directed towards her but a general chat about neurodivergence perhaps. Maybe prompted by something you’d read or seen on TV, there has been lots of publicity and awareness about women and autism recently, and a few high profile women talking about their diagnosis. It’s nothing to be ashamed of (like it might once have been) and the stigma is not there like it was.
I’m thinking if you had an open chat with your wife she might possibly be already more aware of any traits she has than you’re aware. And if nothing else it paves the way for future conversations about possible assessments.
|
Thanks, I've done this. Her mother is also clearly on the spectrum and we've talked about that. We've also discussed autism more generally a number of times.
My hope has been that she picks up on some of the subtext, and has something of a realization, but that doesn't seem to be happening. And I'm basically of the opinion that her self-concept will be better if she makes the discovery herself, rather than me bringing it up with her directly.
It's been challenging as there seems to be a bit of a communication break-down between us. Her behavior over the past few years has pushed me into functional depression, but the only way forward seems to be to set the whole issue aside, as I'm not seeing a way to communicate this with her.
And all she sees is my increasing de-motivation, and likely interprets it as me not caring about her. I'm really trying to care, but it's hard to stay motivated when it's not really reciprocated.
Anyway - maybe there isn't a 'solution' so to speak. But it's nice to at least express these thoughts.