When we are very little we tend to think our parent just knows all the answers. Spoiler alert, they simply don’t and they also tend to be shaped by the generational messages and expectations they grew up with and see in their piers.

There were many generations that functioned on the “behaving a certain way in public despite things not being perfect in the home”. It’s also really only been the past 15 years where the label “Narcissist” started being used.

Also, there is a lot more learned about child development now than ever before. I am 66 and can look back and recall how badly children were treated when they genuinely had a learning disorder They were not helped, instead they were punished constantly.

I think it’s important to put things in perspective when evaluating a parent and deciding to think you were intentionally neglected and abused. While there are parents that are ignorant and negligent and even narcissistic, there are many who genuinely did not know and were often misguided by the messages and expectations of their generation.