Negative symptoms of schizophrenia masks every other mental illness I have. So I don't care much about anything else except depression, DPDR and psychosis. Hypomania is definitely okay, and preferred. Especially hyper focus (In rabbit holes and such). That's just me. I don't get anxiety, just a big social filter IRL, quietness (Introvert), being overwhelmed. But all of the bad stuff just crosses the already really low sui threshold =/ So I can't handle much.

When I have achieved something almost, I take a break and say "I'm done for the day - That's all I can handle", and feel accomplished. Such as a book chapter, learning to drive standard car..

Cuz I know that everything is infinite anyways ("Reality may be the sum of all possible realities") - So I have a lot of time and prioritize. I can't help it.

And when people force me to do things (Like being pushed to the limit, even with my intense motivation, during my upbringing - That broke me)? I still break down easily (Because I remember what happened). Because I was manipulated from a young age, as a legit slave, in the middle of no where. I thought working hard pleasing everyone is was a good thing.

Any insights or criticisms would be appreciated. I started with HF autism. I did all the school work, did what everyone said. And now the world is broken anyways - And everything is manipulations - Rules are meaningless. We're just on some rock in space. I really don't care what happens. Love is important, kindness etc. But if anyone harms anyone else (Or follows rules by someone else), then problem exists.

But we all must know that the world doesn't want to change. So perspective, again... I just want people to leave me alone - and to stop feeling such pain. Why do I feel always, so much pain.. Everyone does.. Idk why most people want to live - Good for them, it's like hot volcanic rock, rising from the sea floor. It all will come back down, as it cools. Hot and cold. Good and evil, etc.

But the socios know from birth.. "Wtf is this?", and there's no empathy - But like Yin Yang, that balances the thing, to give us the good times - Just like how too much can cause the bad. Heaven decays. Hell brightens, and whatever physical laws are in alternate realities, those are more twisted - But understood, by the weirdest Gods and entities - Matched by our own subjective consciousnesses.

Love as well - People can love hobbies, interests etc. Attachment to material, metaphysical things. A cup of coffee. Everything is an electromagnet. North, South.