I don't know how you can gain it? Hmmm...mmm...mmm I guess you forget how others define you and look at you ahead; Find some good things about you; Stop judging yourself. I have brown eyes, beautiful face, short-brown hair, nice carmel tone, I'm thick, I'm 5'5, 140, funny, sweet, caring, and honest. These are good things about me. It's hard sometimes too because people can bring it down, but don't allow them too! Hold your head up and walk what God gave you. I'm still learning to accept myself because I still have low self-esteem, but taking baby steps can really take you somewhere; It takes time.