What you describe is very common with narcissists. They project their issues on to others and when someone tries to point out their toxic pattern it’s very common for them to get angry and accuse the person of projecting.

They like to find new ways to avoid responsibility and turn things around on the real victim.

It’s very common to begin to question your own sanity. However, one you learn what to look for then you begin to get some of your power back. Yet, at the same time seeing the reality can be heartbreaking.