It sounds like she was trying to rekindle the relationship and you rejected her in a hurtful way. Then she lashed out, and you lashed out back.

I agree that having a husband is nothing to be jealous of.

This all does sound like a lot of impulsive communication and conflict. It sounds like you both just weren't right for each other as friends. Duking it out online doesn't need to even happen. Unless you want it to.